I like order. I like things in their place. Organization makes me happy. For clarification, "liking" order and "achieving" order are two completely different things.
One of the places that my tendencies creep in is when it comes to paying bills. More specifically when it comes to tithing and giving. I like to write one check for the "full amount" - whatever that may be for the month. Disclaimer: I'm talking specifically about tithing and giving... We help as often and as much as we can if someone is in need of food, clothes, things we call "life" and that doesn't have a category in the budget. :)
Here lately my heart has been so broken with stories from the world. A woman who gives all of herself and often risks her life to rescue young girls sold into the sex trade... She took a 3 year old from one of those places! Oh Jesus have mercy. A man who's heart was completely taken when he visited Sudan on a "missions trip", and now has helped build the biggest orphanage in Southern Sudan to house orphans and the "lucky" children who haven't been abducted by the Lord's Resistance Army.
I often fall in to the trap of being so overwhelmed by the horrific things that go on in the world that I don't do anything. The other struggle I find myself wrestling with is that sometimes I feel like because we can't give much, it doesn't really make a difference, so until we can give more financially, it's not really urgent. But that's a problem. A big problem, I know. Is the story of the widow's mite ringing in your ears like it is mine? God has not called me to wait until we are out of debt and can write grandeur checks to 17 non-profits each week.
I recently came across the quote: "Do for one what you wish you could do for everyone" (my Google searching shows that this quote is credited to Andy Stanley, but I don't know for sure?) This quote has plagued my thoughts for several months now, and just last night I talked with my husband and shared that I want to start giving to several organizations/ministries even if it's a smaller amount, rather than giving to just one place each month. My twenty dollars here and there can make a difference.
I still want to travel every inch of the world where there are orphans and bring every one home... I want to personally make sure that no child goes hungry, no child is abused ever again, no child goes their whole (sometimes too short) life without knowing love. My fragile heart is in pieces that this happens in this world, and I want nothing more than my Jesus to come back so there will be no more tears and pain and hurt.
Although I can't do much, doing something is better than being overwhelmed and sitting on my hands.
So I've made a change in my convicted heart. Do for one what you wish you could do for everyone.