A story of a baby whose destiny in this world took only two and a half hours to fulfill. His purpose was fully complete in a mere 150 minutes, otherwise he would not have been taken. Born into this world four months early. I know the tears come partially because even thought he and his family are strangers to me, it's a story that we wouldn't wish on an enemy. Tears come because I wish with all my might that this precious tiny little life was still safe inside his mother's womb- growing, developing, maturing into a perfect baby of nine months. Not mere weeks.
My baby stops eating. Looks me in the eyes. Smiles. Then continues.
The tears come because my fragile human thoughts cannot understand the "why". I believe there are some things in this life on earth that we won't understand, this is one of them. But I remind myself that life is full of things that our earthly bodies will not comprehend.
The tears come from a shared common experience. I was not able to hold our first baby before its destiny was fulfilled, but losing a life before our human minds think it's time is always painful.
The tears come because this morning, I get to sit my baby up and attempt to get all of the air out of her tiny stomach. Silly girl sometimes swallows as much air as food. Per usual, she starts talking. "These are the moments" I think to myself. The moments where you feel like your life is complete. Where you wonder why your heart has not literally exploded, because it feels as if it should have by now. She has nothing but smiles and chatting for me this morning. Catching me up - I'm quite sure - about her night, what she dreamed about, and what she has planned for the day. Why am I so lucky that I get to be her mom? I don't understand, and I won't take for granted. Who knows how many
I'm not really sure how to wrap my thoughts in a nice package and close up shop. I still feel like emotional mush at 11:14pm. I wish I could end this post with a nice verse or simple saying, but none come to mind. So maybe just a challenge... For myself probably more so than whoever stumbles across this. Remember that every God-breathed life, whether it lasts three hours or 93 years, has a purpose. A destiny. Remember this gift you were given called life. You were put on earth to do something great. Go forth. Embrace it. And don't look back.