Embracing Life

As I sit holding my baby while she eats her early morning breakfast, I read a story on my mobile window to the world.  And as tears fill my eyes to the point where I have to clear them every other sentence, I am reminded of how fleeting these moments called life are.

A story of a baby whose destiny in this world took only two and a half hours to fulfill.  His purpose was fully complete in a mere 150 minutes, otherwise he would not have been taken.  Born into this world four months early.  I know the tears come partially because even thought he and his family are strangers to me, it's a story that we wouldn't wish on an enemy.  Tears come because I wish with all my might that this precious tiny little life was still safe inside his mother's womb- growing, developing, maturing into a perfect baby of nine months.  Not mere weeks.

My baby stops eating.  Looks me in the eyes.  Smiles.  Then continues.

The tears come because my fragile human thoughts cannot understand the "why".  I believe there are some things in this life on earth that we won't understand, this is one of them.  But I remind myself that life is full of things that our earthly bodies will not comprehend.

The tears come from a shared common experience.  I was not able to hold our first baby before its destiny was fulfilled, but losing a life before our human minds think it's time is always painful.

The tears come because this morning, I get to sit my baby up and attempt to get all of the air out of her tiny stomach.  Silly girl sometimes swallows as much air as food.  Per usual, she starts talking.  "These are the moments" I think to myself.  The moments where you feel like your life is complete.  Where you wonder why your heart has not literally exploded, because it feels as if it should have by now.  She has nothing but smiles and chatting for me this morning.  Catching me up - I'm quite sure - about her night, what she dreamed about, and what she has planned for the day.  Why am I so lucky that I get to be her mom?  I don't understand, and I won't take for granted.  Who knows how many days, hours, minutes I will get to enjoy her in this life.


I'm not really sure how to wrap my thoughts in a nice package and close up shop.  I still feel like emotional mush at 11:14pm.  I wish I could end this post with a nice verse or simple saying, but none come to mind.  So maybe just a challenge...  For myself probably more so than whoever stumbles across this.  Remember that every God-breathed life, whether it lasts three hours or 93 years, has a purpose.  A destiny.  Remember this gift you were given called life.  You were put on earth to do something great.  Go forth.  Embrace it.  And don't look back.

{Thirteen Weeks}

Three Months - updated

{edited 01/18/10 after three month doctor's appointment}

Sweet Sweet Emmalyn Grace - 

Three months ago you changed our lives forever and for the better.  We blinked.  And now you're three months old.  You weigh 10lbs 3oz (25%) and are 24in. long (90%).  Newborn diapers are too small and size one diapers are too big.  Your 3 month pants are long enough, but still don't stay on your little bottom.  You love to stand.  Most of the time you prefer to stand as opposed to being held "baby style".  You talk.  A lot.  Your bouncy chair has three stuffed bugs hanging from it, and you make conversation with them on a regular occasion.  When you wake up in the morning, you greet us with smiles and coos and lots and lots of talking.  The doctor said that you are advanced in your talking and laughing.  You've giggled a few times - most of the time it's for Dad.   Nothing consistent, but absolutely heart-melting.  You're so stinking cute.  You love grabbing things - your toys, our shirts, momma's hair... and putting everything in your mouth.  You definitely prefer your Mom and Dad to others.  You're okay with others as long as you know we are close.  But sometimes you just want your Momma.  And your Momma melts every time you just snuggle up against her chest, wide awake, just snuggling :)   You're sleeping from about 10:30 to 6 (give or take). You're awesome at holding your head up, and the doctor said that tummy time isn't that important for you because you have great head control and muscle development.  We will still do it, but Mom doesn't feel bad about forgetting ;)  You got three shots on 1/18, and while you cried when you got them (it's okay honey, I cry when I have to get shots too), it didn't take much to calm you down.  You're such a trooper.  I could go on and on, but you're in your crib sleeping right now, and I want to go look at you. 

You are absolutely perfect.  And we love you to the moon and back.

{I couldn't get the slideshow program to work that would also play the music I wanted, so 

unfortunately this is just going to be an extremely long post full of pictures.}

[I love your sweet birthmark]

Straw Crazy

Once upon a time, my husband and I were cruising to local Walmart, when my eyes glanced upon something beautiful... There, hanging on a the corner of the juice isle, was this package of straws.

My eyes had never seen anything like this!  Usually my straw options are either striped (boring!) or neon (not as boring, but still not anything too cool).  

Now you probably should know that I love straws.  No, you don't understand.  I love straws.  I always, always use a straw (when I can - I don't refuse refreshment at someone's house if they don't offer a straw).  I've found that I drink way more water when I drink it with a straw.  But apparently it's weird to drink your coffee from a straw.  Who knew?  I sure didn't until my co-workers gave me a hard time about it. All I know is that I like to keep my pearlies a nice shade of white, and if I drink my coffee with a straw, the coffee does not come in contact with my teeth, therefore I can drink more coffee without the appearance-damaging effects.  To heck with my liver.  

Alrighty back to my story.  I saw these delicious straws, but refrained from buying them.  I already had quite a few left at home, so it wasn't a "need".  Fast forward to last week when my husband ran to Wallyworld to pick up some groceries, and came home with a surprise behind his back - yes he made me close my eyes and everything.  This swell guy that I get to be married to bought me straws. Cue the "awwww"s.  I love flowers occasionally, but they're predictable.  My favorite kinds of gifts are random "Saw this and thought of you" gifts, so these straws are pretty great and filled up my love tank.  I can't wait to use up my neon straws so I can move to my "array of blue and green" ones! :)

{Twelve Weeks}

Perfect Timing

Chris and I have been doing this really random thing lately.  No, no, don't go down that path...  

He's been timing me to see if I can do certain things under a certain amount of time.  I love a good challenge.  If someone says I can't do something, I love to prove them wrong, or at least fail trying.

So the other evening, we needed some basic living essentials... There really isn't anything that you can substitute around the house for toilet paper.  Well you can - paper towels, napkins - but it's not pretty folks. Can you say yowchimama?   I digress.  We were going to be passing a Walmart, but were also really ready to be home, so I bet him that I could make it in and out in 10 minutes.  I had about 10-12 things on my list, ranging from cold medicine to carrots (read: ranging from one side of the store to the other).  He started the timer when he dropped me off at the front door, and even though he said I walked out of the store (5 bags in tow) at 9:58, I put the groceries in the back and got into my seat at 10:17.  Not too shabby.  I'm considering this to be our new way of conquering the awfulness that is Wallyworld. 

Fast forward to this morning, the husband said he would be getting in the shower after he folded the basket of clothes he was working on (unemployed=stinky, man around the house to help with stuff=awesomeness).  So I bet him that I could be in and out of the shower by the time he got done with the clothes.  But he upped the ante and said "Three minutes", which I replied "You're on buddy".  The time started when the water turned on, and stopped when I got back into the bedroom.  This was my time.  Boom-shaka-laka.  

For the record, this will not be the way I start taking showers now.  I love showers.  The worst part of my day is the moment when I turn the shower off.  Those glorious eight (or twelve if I feel like pampering myself) minutes every day are as close to heaven as I'll get on this earth.  

{Eleven Weeks}