This morning at Staff Prayer (I am blessed to work in a place that meets every Wednesday morning to pray together), I started thinking about the magnificent way that God orchestrates every single detail in my life. Nothing happens that is not part of His perfect composition. And He never messes up. Never accidentally cues the trombones when it's time for cellos.
Eight months ago when I was asked to cut my hours at work and solely work on the WISH side (where we do STD testing), and not on the PCC side anymore (pregnancy tests, sonos, etc), a few thoughts came to mind. Anxious about the smaller paycheck, but grateful for more hours to keep dog hair off the floor and milk in the fridge. Six months ago I found out I was pregnant with our first child. We were ecstatic. Five months ago I miscarried.
Thinking about myself working on the PCC side through everything that has happened, I'm not sure if I would still be in one piece (or have a job for that matter). Explanation. Every. single. day. a woman walks through the doors at the PCC suspecting pregnancy, positive that if she is, the only option is to "fix the problem" by ending the life of her child. This is unfathomable to me. I know that life is hard, and I know I'm blessed with a support system of family and friends that are there for me no matter how fast or hard I fall. But when someone is blessed with the gift of life but chooses to end their child's life on purpose... well... I'm not confident that I would have had the compassion that Christ asks of me.
So as I sit and think about my Sonata-for-a-life, I am incredibly thankful that I'm not the conductor. Peace washes over me as I rest in His sovereignty, knowing that there is no possible way in the whole world that I could mess up His masterpiece.